So remember how I decided to go celibate a month or so ago? Well that was going well until yesterday. Before I continue, I plan on being very open about this topic so no judgment.
Ok. So one of my friends from back when I was in high school contacted me a week ago wanting to hang out. I've known him for over twelve years. We were always cool, never flirted or anything like that. Yesterday, he comes to pick me up and we plan on hanging out at his friend's house because they were having a small get together. We were casually flirting while we made a few stops before we got to the house. Once we got there we all started drinking and smoking. We were all laughing and goofing around having a great time. Moving forward, me and him were sitting on the porch playing games on my phone and he kept leaning closer and closer. I was very resistant at first but then gave in and kissed him. We were making out and everything was fine. The mosquitos started to come out and we went inside. Some of the other people were changing their clothes because they were going to the club, but I had to work in the morning so I was just waiting to leave. Me and the guy were in one of the rooms waiting watching TV. We started making out again which was nice. The kissing was great, and I am not going to lie I was curious to know what else that mouth could do. So we are making out pretty heavy with the door close. His hands are traveling places, and his fingers started to play with things. And it all felt GREAT. But then he started to pull at my pants and I calmly told him that he needed to wait. So he stopped and we continued to make out. But being under the influence really caused me to crave sex. So I started going a little harder with the making out and grinding. His hands and fingers started to explore again. Before you know it his mouth went down under. At this point I was not going to stop him. But then he started to unzip his pants and I sobered up. I explained how things were going too fast and we need to stop since we were not clear headed at the moment. He agreed after he tried to get me to give him oral sex but that was not going to happen. So once he relaxed, we talked and finally left. Everything was cool. He still texted me this morning and everything is good between us. I do not feel bad about the oral sex. But stopping from actual intercourse was hard, I must admit.
In my mind I just kept thinking of the promise I made to myself, and how much it meant to me. I really want to save myself for the right person this time and not just anyone, no matter how long I have known them. This is like a fresh start for me and he just was not the one.
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